How much harder is it to be kind?

My sister told me a story this evening that really upset me.

My 13 year old nephew was inducted into the Junior Beta club today. My sister, her younger kids and our mom went to the ceremony. My nephew who is ten is autistic. He is a beautiful, sensitive child who is not like most kids his age.

As they were waiting for the ceremony to start, Ryan sighed several times. A "lady" sitting next to him turned to him and gave him a dirty look. Ryan sighed again, and this "lady" said, "What is the problem?" She repeated herself several times, loudly. My sister finally looked her in the eye and said, "What IS the problem? Is he bothering you THAT much?"

She went on to explain Ryan's developmental delays and other issues that contribute to his occasional verbalizations, and ended with the question, "Do you think you could just try to understand his situation?"

The exchange makes me sad and angry. Ryan's appearance is definitely a clue that something is not "normal" with him. His speech is not exactly age-appropriate, and neither are some of his mannerisms. I'm angry that this woman could (or would) not recognize that the "problem" with my nephew might possibly be beyond his control. I'm sad that my sister had to share personal information with a stranger and that she had to demand respect.

Have we as a society lost our ability to be kind? Is it really that much harder to be nice to someone? To be patient, even when we are in a hurry? To be tolerant, even when we feel uncomfortable?

I hope that this woman was just having a bad day, and that when she thinks about this later, she feels a little sheepish.

I want to challenge my readers to go out into the world and disseminate kindness, where the world would sow impatience and intolerance.


"Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. "Colossians 3:12-14